i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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