Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
