Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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