I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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