at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
