we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
