A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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