Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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