How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There r osticjed everywhere
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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