I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Operation Purity has been aborted
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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