I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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