Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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