When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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