can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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