he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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