i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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