Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
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With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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