roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i drank out of a bidet.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
