you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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