The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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