this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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