im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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