im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
