so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
