Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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