Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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