so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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