Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
