i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
