I didn't shave. On purpose
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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