are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
time to smoke my breakfast
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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