You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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