Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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