I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize