If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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