we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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