Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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