i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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