I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
