how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
