Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
