just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
