If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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