there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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