My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
that is very illegal...i love you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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