Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize