Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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