Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
