Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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