Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize