He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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