god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I will die if light touches me.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
