I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
