So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
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I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
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"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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