i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
