I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
