Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
