lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
