I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
