I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
