you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
