Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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