I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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