I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
