You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
