you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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