the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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