Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
